Dave has commanded me to update so I shall obey. It is currently 2:15 a.m. I'm sitting here at the computer at my parent's house, in my pajamas, watching CNN and working on a project for school that I started putting together at 5:30 and that I'm still not finished with. Alas, sleep awaits me. But first, a story:

While my job is generally menial and boring, occasionally things will happen that are quite amusing. The other day, for example, while working at the register, a rather young, preppy looking man casually approached my checkout. As he laid his items on the counter, I happened to notice the typical porn buyer arrangement: CD placed on top of DVD so as to avoid outright exposure of "offensive" product. So, I did the usual routine I normally do when people try to be smooth about buying porn. I quickly rang up both items, carefully averting my eyes from the pictures of the scantily clad people that normally adorn the covers of our soft-core cable-friendly nudey movies while nonchalantly attempting casual conversation. As I'm finishing up my routine by trying to place the items in a bag while still avoiding my eyes from any indecent material, I realized I hadn't removed the security sensor from the DVD. Now, normally this is not a difficult task. Just slip the case in this magnetic lock, and, like magic, off it comes. Well, as luck would have it, someone thought it would be wise to place the DVD in a sensor that was decidedly too small for it (there are several different kinds, you see). So, there I am, with this man's porn (of the gay variety, by the way. I happened to notice the shots of muscular, nude men plastered across the cover as I attempted to remove the tag. Yes, I finally had to look at it.), tugging desperately on the stupid security case. I must have tried for at least a minute or so, and by this time a line started to develop. My face getting redder by the minute, I finally stopped my fruitless attempts to remove the security case and decided to call my supervisor. At this point, the customer visibly started to panic. Up to this point it had been mild discomfort, but now that *two* people were about to witness his gay porn splurge, the man realized the urgency of the situation. He proceeded to grab the DVD from my hands and pulled on it with all his might. No budge. Finally he asked if he could just break the case open, so I watch as he frantically tried to crack open the plastic while I'm still corresponding with my supervisor. Finally, he gave up and accepted the impending embarrassment. I could now see my supervisor heading to the counter from about the middle of the store. Sympathizing with the poor customer, I again tried the magnetic lock in hopes that the case would finally budge, but no luck. My supervisor was almost to the counter. Sweet beads are forming on the poor gay porn connisseur. I'm panicking, people behind the man in line are looking at their watches impatiently, and then, just as my supervisor approaches my register I hear a *click* and effortlessly the DVD slides out of the case. I quickly proceeded to shove the porn in a bag, apologize to the embarrassed customer, and notify the supervisor that he was no longer needed, all without anyone but me and the poor guy ever knowing about his purchase. I feel sorry for him though..how traumatic.


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